Michelle Baker

when i started blogging, i told myself i wouldn't do two things:

use this as a forum for complaining
or
talk about my kids in any way which they wouldn't totally approve.

I'm breaking both rules today. screw it. i had a shitty day yesterday and i need to get it off my chest. yesterday all three kids had school physicals. when they asked if i had any concerns about maggie i rather casually said "well, she's been pulling her hair out". apparently that little bombshell had a bigger impact than i'd expected. the doctor wanted to talk in-depth about why she was doing it, blah, blah, blah. so as best i could, i described my sweet-but-slightly-anxiety-ridden eight year old to her. turns out what i've been calling personality quirks, the medical professional likes to call "social anxiety disorder". go figure.

here's the part where i do that primal scream thing.

so, they suggested counseling. in front of maggie.

am i allowed to swear on here? @#&!!*& what was she thinking? maggie immediately freaks. all the confidence i thought she'd gained over the summer just flew out the friggin' window. i could have choked the doctor.

do i think maggie HAS an anxiety disorder? probably. the girl freaked out about EVERYTHING as a toddler. she couldn't walk on gravel until she was three years old. it scared her. for crying out loud, she didn't walk until she was 19 months old. everything scrares her. she worries incessantly. and it interferes with school. i get way more "tummy ache" phone calls than i should. well, the school thing is one of the criteria used to determine if the "disorder" is interfering with her living a normal life.

what happened to just having a "shy" kid? why is everything a fucking disorder?

i think maggie summed it up pretty well yesterday when she screamed at the doctor "that's just the way i'm made!"

obviously i need to put a lot more thought into this whole thing. i just had to get that out.

in other business: sam probably needs glasses. he, sage and i have eye appts. today. after that it's the back-to-school picnic. i'll post some pics tomorrow.